There is a total difference between parenting 1 child as opposed to 2. I do not even want to imagine the transition from 2 to 3....That sounds like pure torture.
Over the last 3.5 months I have wanted to run far far away so many times I cant even count. I am no longer organized. My day is merely a 24 hour period of time where I keep myself and my family alive. Jake and I are surviving and are somehow closer to each other than ever. (probably because we have to stand tall against the minis who are hell-bent on our demise. Jake says they sense happiness.)
Don't get me wrong though, there is immense joy and pleasure in having a second child. I had forgotten how a baby smile melts away everything bad. Or how all those little 'firsts' make you feel. I don't remember a lot from when Addie was this age. So it has been a huge blessing to witness the growth of another baby girl.
But holy crap it is so hard. and it is so different. I was not ready for this. I thought I was. I was so wrong.
Addie slept, like a champ. 12 hrs at 2 months. consistently. Piper sleeps when it is least convenient for everyone around her. (See: 8:30 AM - 2 or 3 PM) Addie has learned to sleep soundly through baby crying thankfully.
Addie just didn't ever get mad. She was happy and independent. She was curious and just chill. Piper will chameleon herself to a horrifying shade of purple when she is not pleased. She will let you know when you have failed her. and loudly.
She wants to be held constantly....my elbows pop and creak and are so sore from holding her all the time.
but...Addie didn't like to cuddle. Piper is a cuddle bug. She's a mama's girl. Addie is all about Jake. So I think this is the blessing in disguise part. The part where one of my kids wants ME instead of Jake. It feels pretty nice.
but anyway, while this torture is getting to be unbearable...and making me want to retreat to the homeland...where there are dozens of people ready to take these girls off my hands for a few hours....I have to stay strong and continue taking all this one day at a time. Surviving is okay. Though it better not be permanent.
I just want my normal life....with a schedule and sleeping children...I need it back.